FOREVER A STUDENT...

The month of September is a great one for my family! I got married on September 3rd and gave birth to my son just 17days later on September 20th. I have been holding both titles now for 4yrs and still in shock about how fast it is going. Both are two major roles that God has blessed me with. Like I always say...it is not easy, but worth it! Reminiscing back to the days when Kendall and I first began our journey as a couple and then parents, I realized that we have come a long way! A lot of ups, downs and lessons learned. Often, women ask "How do you balance it all? Being a wife, having a career and then throwing a child in the mix!" But I've come to realize that it's not about balance. It's about prioritizing and focusing on the growth. Nothing is ever perfect and easy. It takes work and it is important to be willing to change where it is necessary. Since it has been four years, I've decided to name four things I have learned as a wife and four things I have learned as a mother. 

WIFE: 

1. Ask for help. As much as we wish they did...men do not read minds! lol Often my husband reminds me to speak up for myself and just be direct with him. As women in general, we tend to take on that nurturer role and run with it by putting so much on our plate! I have learned that it is much easier to just ask for help instead of trying to do it all on my own. Saves a lot of stress and me lashing out later! 

2. Say what you need. No need to tip toe! If you need your man to stop at the store or stop at Starbucks..tell him! lol We all need some alone time and the only way we are going to get it is by being straight forward. Do not feel like you are being selfish and do not hesitate on letting your spouse know that you need a break. 

3. Give yourself and spouse grace. I am not perfect and neither is my husband so there is going to be plenty of times we mess up. Learn to forgive each other and understand that there has to be room for mistakes. 

4. Have fun! It doesn't have to always be so serious. Often times, people run from marriage because they don't want to become "boring." But, who says it has to become that way? Yes, there is some sort of routine that you end up falling into because now that you are sharing your life with someone else and more serious conversations such as finances has to be had. But, fun has to be had as well! Keep your marriage exciting. Continue to date, talk about less serious topics, travel, watch great movies together or even play games! Just because you are married now, does not mean you have to lose that spark that bought y'all together in the first place. 

MOTHER: 

1. You cannot always be your child's friend. As much as my son makes me smile and laugh, I know it cannot be all about having fun. He is relying on me to teach him and guide him in the right direction which requires discipline. He is still developing and it's up to me to let him know when something is wrong. 

2. Your child is legit listening and following your moves. Have you ever sat in a room and then hear your child say something new and then you realize that something new came from you?! lol Everything that Kendall and I say, Mason legit repeats. He often asks to FaceTime my family and starts telling them a story about what happened in our household. These children are listening, watching and learning from us. This has taught me to really watch what I say and do or I will be correcting my child later. 

3. Have a true conversation and actively listen to your child. If all children is like mine, then y'all know they loveeeeee to talk! lol Sometimes it is easy to just let them talk and reply saying "yup. mmhm." But that is not good. Our children needs our attention and they are really trying to tell us something. It is important that we don't only listen, but we try to understand them and reply in the right way. That is how they learn, grow and truly gather their thoughts. Have you ever noticed a child that may not be talking as much as they probably should at their age? They could be missing that interaction from you to help them pick up on words and how to put them together into sentences. Sometimes I catch Mason getting frustrated when he knows I'm not giving him my full attention. Now I make it a requirement to stop what I'm doing to listen to him. I want him to know that he can come to me and will have my full undivided attention.

4. Pay attention to their creativity/their interests. Build on that. Early on,  I noticed Mason loves to experiment and likes to see how things work together. I started to introduce him to science experiments and he loves it. Just the other day, he actually told my husband that he is going to be a scientist. He is also into dinosaurs. I use that to bond with him. If I see something dealing with dinosaurs, I show him and he gets so excited! He starts to talk about them and ask questions. Now he knows the name of every dinosaur there is. lol Get them involved by navigating what they like. We all know it will change as they get older and that's okay. Continue to use their interests to help them expand on their knowledge. 

As a forever student, I know there is so much more to learn about being a wife and mother. Also pat yourself on the back!!! When my son hugs me and tells me I am the best, it makes my heart melt. Or when my husband randomly surprises me with little gifts or let me know that I'm doing a great job, I know that I'm doing something right. It's a forever growing process and it will continue to change. You will change, your husband will change and your children! Embrace the change and adapt. You are doing great my friend. 💙