Navigating Fears

 2befearless is boldly being yourself! Not allowing fear to stop you from achieving your goals. But also not being afraid to admit that you need help. Admit that you do get nervous and worry at times. How you tackle them and move forward is 2befearless!

When we were little, the majority of us probably were scared of monsters, the boogie man or the dark. But, as we get older, we worry that we may not succeed, that we won't be able to protect our family the way we desire or stay up all night worrying about our children. We may not believe it or think about it as much as we get older, but we all have something to overcome. It's our strong faith that keeps us going and allow us to know that we will be okay. 

Now we are older and have a better understanding on how to navigate our thoughts. But, how do we help our children to do the same? So for Christmas, we bought my son a twin Spider-man bed. With marvel sheets and a cool Spider-man comforter to go with it and we just knew it was going to be a hit! Wellll the excitement lasted for a couple of days and then it happened. He had a bad dream! My son had a dream that a bee was in his bed and started to attack him. Several nights, we tried telling him that it was just a dream, that everything is okay, and nothing is in his bed. We pulled his covers back so he can see it for himself, but it was too late...the image of this bee was stuck in his head. He told us that it was too dark in his room and he doesn't like his superhero sheets. He needed solid blue everything to ensure nothing was in his bed. Of course to us, it sounds crazy. We know that it was just a dream, we know that his sheets doesn't create bugs, we know that Jesus will never leave him and he will be okay! But, Mason is 4 years old. 

Sitting in his bed, we allowed him to just talk. Express how he felt and what he was thinking. He told us that he was scared to go to sleep because he didn't want to have the dream. He told us that he knows that Jesus will never leave him, but he can't see Him. He told us that he doesn't like the superhero sheets/comforter because the shapes of their heads. The circular faces and eyes looked like bugs whenever he saw them in the dark. I'm sure we can understand that. When you’re in the dark, all objects look creepy! lol And him knowing that Jesus is real, he is now realizing that we cannot physically see Him. I told him that you can't see Jesus but He is looking over the entire world! Mason then asked me if we could call him. lol My response was "Not on the phone but we can pray. When we pray, He hears us." The following day, I went to the store and got him plain navy blue sheets and comforter. At night, I get in the bed with him to read his bedtime story which will help prove nothing is wrong with his bed. My husband has a little chat with him as he lay in the bed with him so he can go to sleep. Last night, he went to sleep after one chat and stayed asleep all night! :)

  

                                                                     

So the question is how to help our children to navigate their own fearful thoughts? This is what I came up with so far as I continue to figure it out myself!...

1. Help them talk through it. Let them share their thoughts and really listen even if it doesn't seem to make sense. 

2.  Explain what is happening in a way that they can understand based on their age/maturity. 

3. Give them comfort that you are there and will protect them. 

4. Boost their confidence. My husband makes sure Mason recites affirmations every night. I make sure he recites scripture and then we sing a superhero song! A song that we made up to let him know that the superhero's fought the "monsters". He’s pretty confident that no monsters can enter this house! Lol

5. Let them do what they need to do to be at peace. If they need 3 nightlights in the room right now, so be it! If they prefer their bedroom door open...leave it open. 

6. Of course, pray! Pray with them and for them. After Mason slept on his own 3 nights in a row, he said “Mommy. Jesus heard me! He took away my bad dreams.” :) Prayer works! 

Everything is temporary and there will always be some new phase that

we will have to face as parents. Keep going, stay motivated and know that we got this! :)