Sometimes we question things in our lives over and over again. “Why this? Why that? But what if....?” But what we SHOULD be doing is trusting God’s plan for our lives. He brings us to places that we may not understand, but know it will work out in the end. Kendall was offered an engineering job in Newport News, VA back in December. This is something we have been constantly praying for, but when it came, I got scared. Kept thinking of those “what if”questions. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to find a job and that we wouldn’t like the new state. Kendall accepted the job and moved to Virginia in January. We planned to be a part for two months. Him there while me and Mason was still home in Baltimore to ensure we had enough transition time. TO ALL MY SINGLE MOTHERS OUT THERE, I RESPECT YOU EVEN MORE NOW THAN EVER. I always knew women could do it ALL. But Lord knows, I missed my husband. Not only because of the obvious reasons, but he’s a huge help with raising our son and doing things around the house. I had to take the trash out for two months! Lol luckily my family was always there helping me when I needed. My brother actually watched Mason for us while I went to work. Kendall came home on the weekends of course but it was definitely a rough time. Being a fearless woman, I checked myself whenever I felt myself getting scared, stressed or sad. I had to pull myself together for Mason, to support my husband and to prepare myself mentally and physically for what God had in store for me. I went to work each day, searched for new jobs, cleaned up, fed mason, bathed mason and was up at 4am the next day for work all over again. Of course, when things are in God’s plan for you, everything starts to fall right into place. Family and friends were nervous for me. Kept thinking that I would have to leave my “good government job” or that I was just following my husband and would forget about myself. One day I cried over the phone to Kendall and told him all my worries and he told me, “you cannot be scared, but have faith at the same time.” When you bring something to the Lord, you have to leave it in His hands and trust that it will work out. My attitude began to change and I just let go and let God. He blessed me with a transfer position and with a two week time period off before I began working. Mason and I moved and had two whole weeks to settle in, tour around our new neighborhood and just bond with each other even more. It was good to be with Kendall again. I could tell Mason was missing his father and it was time to be under one roof again. This may have been the biggest challenge for me. Once again, God was calling me to be Fearless again. To set that example of how things may seem hecticed and all over the place now, but it will all come together again. If I wasn’t fearless, my husband wouldn’t have been able to have the strength to leave to do what he knew he had to do for our family. If I wasn’t fearless, my son would’ve been sad each and everyday he noticed his dad wasn’t there because he had to work, if I wasn’t fearless, I would’ve let those who were nervous around me influence me to stay in Baltimore. Who knows, we may move back in a few years, but there’s a reason God opened this door for the Blackston’s and we have to be obedient to see what that reason is.
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